Reactivity: when do we settle for what we have?
And embrace our dog for what they are
I’m writing this during the most prolonged spell of rain that I can remember. Us dog people are acutely attuned to the seasons and the weather and whatever the records say, for me this is the wettest it’s been in living memory. And just walking for our daily exercise is a challenge. Also funny. As a spaniel dad I let out a wistful sigh as my training-walk imposing Rottweiler (larger than average) tippy-toed so balletically around each puddle! But instantly he had my attention for other reasons as we saw another dog approach. It was cold and wet, but I am not giving up on you. Not today. Remember the drill. But when do we settle for what we have?
When does training stop?
This is a question I often get asked in different ways when we begin a journey. Especially when we are talking about more complex behavioural issues that address emotional response and reactivity. The clichéd answer is never, but I’m not so sure that is right. And what does such an answer do for our own motivation? I just want my dog to be a dog!
The best answer I can give is that the training itself is something I am sharing first with the other human(s) in the pack – we are learning together and from each other. And yes, this is a finite process, of course. What shouldn’t ever stop is reinforcement. Training is work. Reinforcement then becomes simply second-nature. And because we have done our training, reinforcement is just part of the drill – it’s how we do things now. This is not only calming for our dog, it’s calming for us too.
An animal in a human world
We set the bar very high for our dogs. Yes they are ‘domesticated’ compared with their wild ancestors. But we are still dealing with an animal whose brain is wired differently from ours’. And we expect them to fit in flawlessly with our (frankly sometimes weird!) customs and routines. Square peg and round hole springs to mind! And if our dogs don’t seamlessly do this – even with a lot of training – we can feel they are somehow flawed, or we blame ourselves for letting our dog down.
This is why it’s so important to adapt our mindset sympathetically to how our dog perceives our world. It’s their world too, but we are the ones who have imposed the rules. So when we are talking about an aggressive or reactive dog, we are talking about a dog who is not coping with some things in this world and is stressed. More often than not that dog might be a lovely and affectionate family dog at home. It doesn’t mean they are somehow ‘bi-polar’. It means they are always that same, beautiful being, but making the wrong decision. So it’s on us to try and help them feel less stressed and to cope in a better way.
When things go very wrong
When we talk about reactivity there are different scales. At the lower end of the spectrum we might have already tried some training. We make good progress, only for us to have a really bad day. It’s easy to feel all the effort we put in was for nothing, but that is exactly the time to dig in, reset, and keep reminding our dog about the better decision they can make. I’m not giving up on you. Not today.
At the other end of the scale situations can be much more urgent and extreme. But nothing saddens me more than a dog who is euthanised before they and their owners have even tried some rehabilitation training. In these circumstances the dog’s life has been shaped this way by poor human decisions throughout its desperately sad life. To be abused by its original owners perhaps, then rehomed into an inappropriate situation, maybe. A dog deserves at least a chance.
The best gift we can give them
…is a chance. A chance to cope better. This is what good training can do. So when we do try, that is a wonderful, amazing thing to do. And always we can make a positive difference. How far we get of course depends on a lot of things: early socialisation and the dog’s history and current age in particular. It has little to do with intelligence and ability (of either of us). We can often overcome an issue completely, or at least we can always make an improvement.
And if we try – we mustn’t feel guilty or blame ourselves for our dog not being perfect. When I assess a troubled dog I love seeing the parents’ faces brighten when I genuinely point out all the positive traits about their dog. Things they know but are relived that someone else can see too. And in the end if we can’t quite reach the heights we dream of, think of how much worse things were.
If our dog is stressed when they see another dog, we can adapt our routines and routes. Concentrate on the things they love. That’s us by the way. Engagement with us. And it can be things like sniffing or spotting birds. Do all these things. This is what our dog is telling us they love. And we can always, always reinforce a calmer behaviour around things they don’t love so much. If our dog can’t quite overcome that final hurdle, we are still making a positive difference if we engage them to look at us or pop them a nice treat if they are calm when they see something that previously caused an eruption. We are making something stressful more pleasant, and keeping you calmer too.
So we never give up on them. We have done the training. We might have settled for what we have. But we never stop reinforcing. So we know the drill. It’s part of our life. Let’s embrace our dog and all their faults. Afterall, we are hardly faultless either!
That Rottweiler by the way is called Jimbo. When he looks at me, and I can tell you that’s a nice moment, who do I see? Do I see a breed? Do I see problems? No. I see Jimbo.