A Question of Trust
The mutual trust between you and your dog is the foundation for force-free training, but what exactly does this entail?
A new thing experienced through your dog’s senses
Recently I found myself outside my normal comfort zone by having to use a muti-storey car park, and this proved the case for my dog too. I was reminded why I am thankful I don’t have to use them very often. The spaces always seem too small, and I always seem to end up on the highest level, which usually says “Level 4” even though we seem to have made those tight-turn ascents at least eight times. If my dog wasn’t car sick before, he probably was now. I know I didn’t feel great. And then of course we had to get down to ground level.
We confidently marched towards the exit where we weighed up our options. It only now occurred to me that using a lift would be a new experience for my dog. He seemed relieved enough to be out of the dizzying metal box on wheels. So I thought we should try a new metal box if he was willing to go in when those silver doors magically open…
The first thing we saw was the huge mirror on the opposite wall of the lift. Luckily there is no phobia for my dog with this, but it was a disconcerting start. He checked and re-checked our doppelgangers… Then the floor felt funny, it was very gently moving from side to side! This initiated immediate suspicious sniffing. Lastly of course we started moving down. My dog immediately dropped down then raised himself halfway in a sort of confused play-bow. Think about it: the floor could not be trusted – the very ground he was standing on. Before my instant regret could take hold, he seemed to gather himself, wagged his tail slowly and the doors soon opened. Once on solid ground – a good sniff to check it out to make sure, and we were off.
We shouldn’t take Trust for granted
With some relief the comedy of the moment wasn’t lost on me. And whilst making a mental note to add lifts to my puppy socialisation programmes, something else occurred to me. We make dozens of decisions every day, especially when out in public, that either erode or reinforce trust. Life is not perfect and it’s an ebb and flow. But our goal should be for our trust account to be in credit by the end of the day.
Why is this important? Because trust is the Holy Grail of bonding with your dog:
- Your decision either erodes or reinforces the trust your dog has in you. If it’s the right one, your dog is more likely to go along with you the next time.
- You need to trust your dog to make the right decision when you are asking them something, such as a Recall. That way they feel satisfied, empowered, and confident. This what a “trained” dog looks like. (Not an “obedient” robot.)
- Taken together, you can both make the right decision as a team, because you have complete trust in each other. Each correct decision reinforces your bond.
When Trust breaks down
Let’s think about an example of a leash-reactive dog. When they react to a trigger and pull and bark, we need to listen to what they are trying to tell us. In the case of a fearful, anxious dog, they are saying “I don’t like this, make it go away”. They are overwhelmed. Unfortunately the decision that is often made here will be the wrong one: continue towards the trigger, even closer, to get past it, or worse, to berate our dog for embarrassing us in public. Well, we just blew a huge hole in our trust account. The dog is left thinking, “Why did you put me in that situation? I’m so scared”. So guess what will happen next time? It will only get worse.
Another example is a “yappy” dog on a crowded beach. There are too many people. There is too much sensory input. The ground is hot…
Flooding our dogs does not mean “socialising” them and is guaranteed to germinate a seed of discomfort into a full-blown phobia.
Bang! There goes that trust again, disappearing over the horizon.
Those small decisions with big consequences
We can also erode trust in the most seemingly banal ways. Moving your dog’s food or water bowl around on a whim, or their bed, is not a good idea. For a dog to feel safe and secure they need routine and consistency associated with their basic needs. They construct meaning in living things, places and events in a positive way, as long as the other things are equal. So the water bowl stays where it is! Sure, life can get in the way and sometimes things have to be moved around. This is fine, as long as the routine is quickly re-established.
Answering the question of Trust
I was fortunate with the lift – my dog was okay with it in the end. But if he had refused to go in, we would have taken the stairs. Or if he had reacted differently once in, then we were never going to go into a lift again without some training together. In that way, I could rebuild his trust in me that I’m basically a good guy, so when I ask him if he can do something else, it will still seem like a good idea. The best start we can make with force-free training is to be mindful of these small decisions we always make. How does our dog think about them? How does it shape their trust in us? You will know in your heart the answer to make the right decision. Trust is precious, hold onto it with all paws!
And wishing all my readers a peaceful and easier 2024…!
